Over time, even the strongest marriages and relationships need work. Whether your relationship needs a tune up or a major overhaul, couples can do a number of things and use various tools to get their marriage or partnership back on track. And one of the best ways to do this is by changing your behavior towards your spouse or partner…
1. Couples Counseling
Couples in any relationship, partnership or marriage that starts to show the beginning signs of failure will often turn to couples counseling for help. While counseling isn’t for every couple out there, it could be a great place to start and to learn things about one another that you may have never known!
In addition to teaching you how to better understand each other, effective couples’ therapy can help you gain a more useful understanding of yourself, too.
By using the skills you learn during your sessions and applying them inward, you can break negative repetitive patterns in your own behavior. Couples counseling can also make you more receptive to constructive criticism, which is critical for responding positively to your partner’s critiques of your actions.
2. Get the Most Out of Each Other
Many couples fall into the trap of focusing on the immediate problem that is plaguing their marriage or relationship at any given time. Most committed partners have numerous responsibilities that create everyday stress—and dealing with that stress day in and day out and can take its toll on couples, which often leads to a lack of communication, disconnection, and even resentment.
For example, couples argue about a host of common problems, such as finances, children, and work. By focusing on narrow issues, couples never really learn how to cope with the broader issues that are harming their marriage.
It is easy to get bogged down by the daily grind of everyday life. Committed couples can avoid this pitfall by creating big goals and sticking to them. For example, spouses can collectively decide that their therapy goal is to learn to be more loving, more generous partners.
This attitude allows them to keep the bigger picture in mind so they do not get lost in the details of life’s daily stressors.
3. Tools to Bring Back the Tick
Statistics suggest between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Fortunately, there are a number of tools both spouses can use to combat these numbers. Check out this site here to read more about divorce statistics…
4. Have a Positive Attitude
As with most things in life, attitude has a tremendous impact on how an individual perceives a task or problem. If you maintain a positive attitude with your partner—even though deep down inside you might feel hurt, anger or resentment—you will likely find that talking through these issues in a positive manner might save you.
5. Do Not Be Afraid to Share
Although you might feel reluctant to talk about yourself, use the time you have to talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings.
6. Focus on Self-Improvement
It is human nature to find fault in other people. Rarely, however, do individuals search inside themselves for the source of the conflict they are experiencing. It might be easy to blame the other person for the majority of your problems, but this is almost always an inaccurate representation of your living situation.
7. Avoid Denial
Most people seek couples counseling because their relationship is less than ideal. Interestingly, many individuals either downplay their marriage problems or deny them altogether. Acknowledge your marriage and relationship problems as real issues that demand immediate attention.
Fortunately, there are comparatively few relationship problems that couples simply cannot overcome—other than infidelity and abuse, of course. According to psychotherapist Micki McWade, infidelity and spousal abuse are two big issues that routinely break up marriages. Check out this article by the Huffington Post here.
However, with two equally engaged partners determined to make their relationships or marriages work, it is possible to save even the rockiest union, and to put that special tick back in a relationship.